• 02Jun

    The Hawker

    What do you need?

    Come on, you can tell me.

    What would strike your fancy?

    Could it be … a battery-operated chicken, perched in a nest, that sings “Cock-a-doodle-doo!”

    The Hawker and his chickens

    Yes, an electronic chicken—just what I’ve always wanted!

    The hawker aims to please.

    He pushes the chickens pretty hard, but we’ve never caved. (Alhtough we did see one on the mantel of a VHW once, so they’re obviously a market for them.) But electronic chickens aren’t for everyone. We were, however, talked into buying a casette tape. The Mauve-a-tron is old skool, and we like to play tapes when we’re feeling nostalgiac. The Hawker mostly has bad gospel, but one day he flashed The Trojan Hits of Eric Donaldson. We couldn’t resist. (Nokulunga sold us on him by saying she used to groove to his records, and that he’s South African. He’s Jamaican, but its the thought that counts.)

    Eric Donaldson -- reggae master

    Seeing how much we loved that tape, the Hawker tried to tempt us again. He came in one day, very excited, and told us he had something very special, and then whipped out a pristine Dolly Parton tape. What self-respecting umlungu doesn’t like blonde, white chicks singin’ country music? Us, apparently. This made the Hawker very sad. But then we bought a key chain from him, which perked everyone right up.

    We would probably enjoy the Hawker’s random visits a lot more if he didn’t completely reek. He smells like sweat and urine, and the smell lingers long after he’s left the office. I know that’s mean to point out since the guy probably doesn’t have easy access to a shower, but I wanted to give you the complete picture.

    ps-I’m taking chicken orders starting now.

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